(Source: lolitamylolita)
As soon as you turn the lights off start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”.
And then the shadows growl at you and say, “Mine. You’re all mine.”
Proceed to have a secret relationship with the monster in your closet to make the shadows jealous.
Plot Twist: The Monster wants a threesome with you and the shadows.
[x]
I totally do. :/
I CREATE CONTENT THAT THE PEOPLE CAN RELATE TO
…THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR
I don’t sleep with my laptop…that’s ridiculous….
…I sleep with my iPad.
Our teacher didn’t come to class today so we spent the first twenty minutes doing a seance to call the ghost of Steve Jobs.
Our offering was a bagel and all of our Apple products and we made a pentagram out of people’s laptops.
that’s me on the top right.
She forgets to mention we had a legitimate psychic in the room.
i-hate-myself-so-much-i-am-numb:
my uncle is a priest and he’s staying over for a couple days how the fuck am i supposed to watch supernatural and read fanfiction with his righteousness here
Sacrifice him to Satan
no he’s making mac and cheese for dinner
maybe tomorrowI admire your ability to keep your priorities straight.
YA’LL WANNA SEE WHAT A “REAL FAN” LOOKS LIKE
CUZ THERE’S ONE STANDING IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO DEFINE WHAT A “REAL FAN” IS
WHAT MAKES ONE FAN MORE “REAL” THAN ANOTHER
MINE KEEPS ME QUITE COOL IN THE SUMMER MONTHS
you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs
i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time
so, for relativistic boobtime, where t is the observer, and t’ is the time measured at the boob.
t=t’/sqrt(1-(v/c)^2)
solving for t=1, and t’=5, we get that the boobspeed, v, is represented by
v=+/- (6*10^8)sqrt(6)i m/sboobs travel at 1.5 gigametres per second in the complex direction.
what the fuck did you just do to my simple post
dead:
2012:
i can’t believe 2012 is fucking dead
i told you dead and i are just friends
wow what the hell asshole i thought i meant something to you
(Source: townsvillain)
2 days ago
122 notes
