Cosmo Sex Tip # 438
When you finish taking off his shirt look him straight in the eyes and whisper this is my design
When you finish taking off his shirt look him straight in the eyes and whisper this is my design
When she sees your dick for the first time look her dead in the eye and say “it glows blue when orcs are close”
(Source: assistantt0theregionalmanager)
Right before he orgasms rip out his throat and whisper I’m the alpha now
(Source: conquerbynerdiness)
When he gets his pants off, point and sing “Put that thing back where it came from or so help me”
If a boy sends you a picture of his penis, send him a picture of a bigger penis.
As he’s about to climax kick him out of bed and say, “I’m the Alpha now.”
instead of moaning , inform him that Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.
(Source: wandas-sex-tips)
After you’ve finished having sex, rip his penis off, throw it to the ground, and say, “THIS DICK. I LIKE IT! ANOTHER!”
as she’s about to give you a handjob, yell “PULL THE LEVER KRONK!”
WRONG LEVER
WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE THAT LEVER
Cosmo Sex Tips, Emperor's New Groove, 
permalink / reblogged kissthisfistninja 
9 months ago
42,275 notes
the-gloaming-beyond-the-stars:
When he gets hard, lift him up and break his back over your knee. Tell him that when Gotham is ashes, he has your permission to cum.
Oh. My. God.
